# Examples ## expand\_more ## Consider each of the following thesis statements. **Included below are a range of strong, weak, and middle ground thesis statements**. Can you identify the argument? Can you identify the base of evidence? How/would you improve these examples? After reading through these examples and making your own observations, **you can see feedback comments for each example by clicking on the right tab.** Example Theses Comments and suggestions ## Example Theses Open all sections Close all sections ### Thesis 1 expand\_more At the end of the day, the gods are not people; they are deities meant to be worshipped and feared. What distinguishes the divine family from the human is that, while the mortal family progresses and grows from generation to generation, the hierarchy of the gods remains stagnant despite a constant and often petty struggle for power. ### Thesis 2 expand\_more I will focus on the development of the Corinthian theatre up to the Hadrianic phase, in particular the monumental sculptural decoration of the scaenae frons. The conscious artistic framework and subject matter of the scaenae frons projected a strong Roman imperial ideology and identity, while other elements of sculptural decoration alluded to the city’s Greek, geo-historical past. In other words, the theatre shows the power and influence of Rome, but does not ignore the Greek setting, visually creating a manifestation of hybrid identity. ### Thesis 3 expand\_more This essay aims to not only synthesize the major points made about Ovid's *Metamorphoses* in the recent academic sphere, but to give a solid, well-rounded depiction of how Ovid viewed the features of metaphor and myth in Latin poetry. ### Thesis 4 expand\_more The *Iliad* portrays Achilles as an animal to showcase his inhuman ferocity fueled by rage while *The Bacchae* turns the women of Thebes into animals to demonstrate their irrationality as a result of exorbitant revelry. Close analysis indicates that both works view animalistic behavior as a product of uncontrolled emotion that can lead to unfortunate and unintended consequences. ## Comments and suggestions Open all sections Close all sections ### Thesis 1 expand\_more ### The following example has some promise but needs refining. It doesn’t leave the reader with a clear idea of what, exactly, the paper is going to argue. We get the impression that the author has a pathway in mind, and the paper has the potential to be engaging. However, the specifics of this idea are not made explict to the reader, so there is no obvious argument. ### The author might consider: - What is the context? Will this paper address all gods, or those of a specific culture? - What texts are used? - What is the end result of stagnant generations versus chaging generations? - Are we focused on stability or the struggles? ### Thesis 2 expand\_more ### This is a strong thesis, and many elements are made explicit. - Object of analysis = Corinthian theatre; especially the *artistic framework and subject matter of the scaenae frons* - Time period = up to the Hadrianic period - Argument/ "so what?": The sculpture project manifests hybrid identity, which has socio-political implications (Roman imperial ideology; Greek, geo-historical past) ### Thesis 3 expand\_more ### This is a relatively weak statment It speaks in generalizations and does not make an argument. While it is clear what text the author will use as evidence (Ovid), it does not tell the reader anything substantive or new about this text. The statement suggests that the author will simply summarize and synthesize pre-existing information, which is not the goal of a thesis-based research paper, which makes an arguement and tells us something new. ### Thesis 4 expand\_more ### This is a strong thesis. It clearly lays out what texts the author will use, picks a methodology (compare and contrast), identifies a specific topic they look at, and takes a stance on what they want to argue. If the student selects passages from the text that support their stance, this will make a good paper.